Yep, I'm still here. Just putting the pieces back together.

I style myself a writer, but most of the writing I have is from the time I was insane, or actively fighting to keep my sanity. 

I suffer from drug resistant Major Depressive Disorder but I’ve spent the last 14 months in remission, and avoiding actually writing new words for fear that they would not come. That what drove my creativity was the crazy shadow that was always trying to kill me when I wasn’t paying attention.

See, since I was a child I lived with the shadow of my mental illness. It was always with me, fighting for dominion over this body I inhabit. Sometimes it won, seizing control and doing terrible things to me and those I loved. 

In 2022 I started TMS treatments and within minutes the shadow faded and with only one brief exception, has not returned. I spent the first eight months putting my life back together and repairing my relationship with loved ones. 

It’s been fourteen months now and I’m out of distractions, out of excuses. Is the price of sanity the muse that drove my writing? I’m terrified… but I’m going to find out one way or another.  

I’ll be posting more often now and I hope you will be here when I do.